I have recently come to the conclusion that friendship is more important than love, family and everything else. I mean you can live without family, but what kind of life can we ever have without friends? Without going into too much detail, let me just say that in the toughest, most cruical points in my life the people that have saved me from the depths of depression have been friends. Friends I have known and grown with over years, friends who know my deepest darkest secrets and yet still refuse to judge me. Friends whom have shown me unconditional love without reason.
I have also decided that each friend has a different purpose, for example if I need advice on life I turn to my boy Zabdee, who always bails me out of trouble and who is there for me no matter what. If I want to have a good night on the town, I call Dionne, my best friend since I was 5 years old, and who never let's distance come between us. If I want relationship advice I turn to my fresa Nadia, a real advice giver, and who loves to keep in touch, regardless of what obsticles get in our way, she never fails to be around. If I want to pack a bag and go travelling, then surely I'll call Jemma, so carefree and up for a good old backpack, it doesn't matter where, Jemma is sure to be up for a good cultural experience. If I want to take a walk down memory lane and remember what a rebel I was at times, Kirsty is needed, my cockney friend who has watched me go from good to bad and back to good again!!! If I need to know more about Sudan and know more Arabic then I'm sure that Amani is at hand, a little hankoosha (snobbish) but real in so many other ways. There are so many more people I could mention that I love too, but these are just a few...but I must thank Ade for being here for me when I really needed a friend, he is that friend that knows everything about you, and you wish didn't have to lose.
So in all of this where is family??? Well of course without them we wouldn't even be here, but how much of our lives do they contribute to when we grow apart from them, often disappointing them, and causing them pain in return of my more pain. They say that it is the people who love you that seem to hurt you the most, that is so true, like it kills when someone you love leaves you. It feels like your heart passes it's expiration date, and so it is void to fresh feelings of love. Ofcourse that isn't true. There will be more people we will love, never in the same way ofcourse, but we can still fill just parts of the void. Yesterday was the 8 year anniversary of my father's death, and as cliche as it will sound, time has flown by...and I still never forget. My dad kept our family together, he was like the PVA glue in our paper mache, and without him it just became a huge mess. So when family couldn't paste things back together again, that's when the friends stepped in and took charge. So I'm dedicating this to all the people I love, the friends I now choose to be my family. You all know who you are, and my new mum who has decided to adopt me at such a late stage in my life, lol, and will soon try to get rid of me...my love to all my friends, thank you so much for making me so strong and complete...lots of hugs xoxo
My experience is different to yours as I've had the very same things you describe, but with my parents and siblings. There is an old saying 'God made it so we can choose our friends but we cannot choose our family (lineage).' However, in your case, while we may not be able to use its literal application, your friends have become your family. Why? Because family are the people who love and care about you.
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