Sudan becomes Westernized...Being Westernese!!!

Trying to be Sudanese

Zabdee

Westernese...it is a term created (accidentally) by my boy Zabdee...it means to be westernized and Sudanese.I have put his picture up so he can claim his fame!
Ofcourse Sudan is probably most known for it's civil wars, genocide in Darfur, and most recently the separation. There is much more to Sudan. Anyone who has ever been there can me support me. Sudan is not what we see on the tv, it is a land of consumption, it has consumed me. I am not saying this because I am half Sudanese (although it helps me apppreciate Sudan that bit more) I am saying it because it is true. Unfortunately Sudan is slower than most and is trailing slowly behind other countries in terms of westernization (I'm pretty sure I just made that up). It is a place of habit, and tradition, making it all the more beautiful. If I have to be honest, Sudan isn't the cleanest, or most exciting of places, but the people make up for all of that. The people of Sudan (and I'm not talking about the new independent Sudan, I am talking about the true Sudan, north and south as one) are amazing, and although different tribes have different cultures and traditions, one thing that all Sudanese people share is hospitality. They are over generous. The kindest people I have ever met! There are also the richer people of Sudan who have never taken a ride on a bus, or been anywhere outside of the posh areas, such as Amarat or Riyad. Super sad. I have taught people who live in a huge bubble and have never seen the real Sudan even though they live there...they live in a Sudan somewhere outside of Africa, and then they have the nerve to call themselves Sudanese!!!
Ok so Sudan isn't very modern, but that's what makes it what it is. It is because of the culture and tradition that people love Sudan. Like all places there are some downfalls to living in Sudan, like having to cover up in the baking sun, or having to cover your hair (at times)- trying to find a scarf to match an outfit can be extremely hard, Jemma on the other hand seems to have mastered this. I haven't. Which leads me to my westerenese topic. I believe it is hard to be both westernized and Sudanese. Like all things it is possible to an extent, but mostly it is tough. Growing up in a secular society to a Sudanese father and English mother has proven difficult over the years. My parents often disagreed on matters involving our upbringing, my mother trying to encourage me to date and my father threatening to 'cut my head off' (his words) if I looked at boys. So I have come to a point where I have decided that you will always be more of one than the other. Like me, I'm so proud of being Sudanese, and have always prided myself on being able to cook Sudanese foods and know about the culture, but in truth I know nothing. I have not an ounce of knowledge compared to Sudanese girls born in Sudan. There are also other contributing factors like the fact that Sudanese people completely dive head on into religion (I'm so not Sudanese in that sense) and take religion very very seriously. I always say maybe tomorrow, or when I get married- not anytime soon then I guess!
My friend Zabdee and I decided it would be hard for a Westernese, who is more western to marry a Sudanese as the cultures clash greatly. I hate to sound superficial but for me I love music, going to the cinema, having a pub meal (2 for 6 quid at the wetherspoon) and doing other things considered 'haram'- forbidden, in Islam. Yes, I hate to say it but my British side takes over in that sense.
I am not trying to generalise, but the majority of Sudanese men would prefer a wife that is 'pure' in every sense of the word- again counts me out!! They want a wife that is house proud- I clean as little as possible. Who is prepared to stay home with the kids- I love my job, and who is prepared to submit fully to their husband- I am too independent for submission. Living in England makes us strive for independence, 'girl power' that kind of thing. To be honest, at times I feel sorry for the female university students I teach. I once asked my class to debate about whether it is ok for men to hit their wives. I was sure it would be a boy v girl kind of debate. I was shocked to see some of the girls saying that they think its ok, as long as they were in the wrong. I tried not to be too shocked as belief is belief, but I wanted to slap them!!! I was like, so if my husband gets home from work late can I throw his dinner at him? They all looked at me totally shocked, 'teacher, women can't hit men!' My response was 'why not?', their answer was 'because women have to be quiet'- WHAT! I couldn't express what I was really thinking, but in my mind I was screaming, if a guy hits me, and he isn't my brother or my dad, I don't care, husband or not, it is ON...I'll get the rolling pin out if I have to!!! (Done it before works a treat and they never expect you to use it!)
So I am on the prowl for a westernese husband, more western than Sudanese, who can accept that I can only cook 4 Sudanese dishes, and know a limited amount of Arabic...he also needs to be aware of the fact that I like my hair and have a tattoo...amongst all of that he needs to know that I love a good boogie to some old skool jams...ok that officially means I am not going to meet a man remotely Sudanese... Lots of hugs xoxo